Didn't Expect To See You Here
by Zakodia
Summary: Hermann overhears Newt talking about him in an unlikely place. Cross-posted from Ao3


Hermann rested his head on top of the chair and sighed as Xian started up the tattoo gun. The tattoo shop was a nice relief from the Shatterdome; it was full of life instead of death, colorful instead of grey. Here the kaiju did not loom over him. It was only him against his personal pain tolerance. Yes, he knew this made him a goddamn hypocrite every time he commented on Newt's tattoos. But he would never know that; at least Hermann hoped by the time Newt did see them it would be in a situation where he didn't care if Hermann was a hypocrite. He would be willing to engage with Newton after the world was saved, but until then Hermann was content to lament to Xian about his more creative attempts at annoying him this week. He couldn't talk about work - that was classified - but he could talk about the various lab antics without referring to Newton's actual name or job title. Xian knew Hermann worked at PPDC, that much was obvious, what else would a German mathematician be doing in Hong Kong besides at the University or at PPDC?

"So how goes it with science boy this week?"

"He insisted on removing all of my papers and replacing them with specimens because, 'Dude there wasn't enough room obviously,'" Hermann said affecting a very accurate Geizler impression. Xian laughed.

"Then he randomly decided to start an argument about whiteboards, because apparently chalkboards are so 1950's."

"He's not wrong, but they just aren't as satisfying, are they?"

"Exactly."

"I think he's trying to flirt with you." she said teasingly, like she didn't know the whole story, which she had managed to squeeze slowly out of Hermann session after session.

"Well he's doing a terrible job at it, honestly."

"You don't seem to be doing much better."

"I'm trying to not think about it."

Hermann heard the bell on the shop door ring and a familiar voice shout out.

"Shit."

Xian stopped the gun and wheeled her chair around to look at Hermann.

"You okay?" she asked.

Hermann pointed towards the door, "That's him, science boy." he whispered.

Xian eyes got big, "He's….he's….the kaiju guy?!"

"I am pleased he has nicknames everywhere."

"Oh man, that guy is absolutely crazy, but also hilarious. He tips well and gives Jin a lot of business so we don't really care what he likes."

She wheeled back to continue on Hermann's back, "Man, I see why you have problems now, he's like your total opposite. Did you not know which shop he went to?"

"If I asked he would pester me for months about why I did."

The reasoning Hermann had behind getting tattooed was not in line with his usual way of thinking. As he was starting to grasp the patterns behind kaiju he was seized by the inevitability of it all. The illusion of permanence, the brutality of death, and the fleeting nature of life. He had also become perturbed when Newt had said offhand one day "Well at least when we die they'll definitely know which body is mine," and Hermann had realized he had no distinguishing characteristics. So, he had done his research and after much agonizing had gotten one. Surprisingly, he liked it, it was meditative and something different to do that didn't involve work. So he returned again and again. He enjoyed being away from the Shatterdome and having someone who wasn't directly involved with him or Newton to vent at. He would never tell anyone in the Shatterdome how he really felt, place was the world's largest gossip mill.

There was a dark curtain between them but Hermann could still hear Newt as he settled in and started talking. Xian whispered in Hermann's ear "We can reschedule if you'd like, if this is like super-duper awkward, cutting into your meditation time, or whatever. I'll let you go out the back door too, so he doesn't see you."

"How much is left?"

"Not that much for today, like 30-45 minutes."

"I'll stay, I am curious to what he has to say."

From the other side of the curtain he heard Newt's artist ask him

"How goes it with your math dude?"

"Ugh, terrible, just terrible. Like at times I'm pretty convinced he hates me, like 99.8% convinced, with absolute hatred; but then then he just does stuff for me, like randomly nice stuff. Yesterday I cut myself with the scalpel because I wasn't paying attention, aside I was tooootally staring at him writing math; its hypnotizing, he's so fluid and fast and the way the chalk sounds… anyways I cut myself and was like "fuck" and he totally just got down from his ladder - yes his chalkboard needs a ladder - its dumb. Whatever, he got me the med kit and got a band aid out and put it on and everything."

"Well did he say anything about it?"

"Well I mean he grumbled to himself a lot, which is a normal occurrence and then he said "Are you serious, Newton? We will never get anything done if you insist on hurting yourself. I swear you have a death wish. One day you will slice your wrist and then where will we be? Absolutely incredible, the knack you have for it." Newt said affecting an accent that made Hermann roll his eyes and Xian dissolved into silent laughter, "And then he packed up the med kit, huffed away and hardly spoke to me the rest of the day." Newt sighed, " I just wish I could tell him, I get it. Like I'm stressed he's stressed, everybody is stressed. I get it! He doesn't have to do it alone, we can do it together. I can help, I promise, I'm not as dumb as I act like a good 75% of the time. I…I…just can't….do it. I can't risk it. Plus, like I said I'm 99.8% sure he hates me, and he does nice things just to make sure I don't kill myself that .2% of the time."

"Why won't you risk it?"

"Because I've personally fucked up every one of my previous relationships just by being myself and this is by far the most complicated because it's my freaking job/lab partner plus potential romantic partner. So, if I screw up one part I'll screw them all up and that isn't good for me or him - or the world as a whole, honestly."

"And how long have you known this guy?"

"Like almost ten years"

"And he still talks to you, in earnest, like all the time?"

"Yeah, we fight, talk, debate - whatever you want to call it, all day every day. People even avoid our lab because they don't want to hear us yelling."

Hermann could hear the other tattoo artist laugh.

"Oh sweetie, you're cute, but you're dumb."

"Hey I've got 6 Ph.D's, thank you very much."

"And I doubt any of them relate to interpersonal communication, psychology or love, do they?"

"No," Newt said under his breath.

"So let's take it from the top. There is this guy that you've known for almost 10 years, that you've shared a close personal working space with for about 8 years, that has not left you despite numerous complaints, will engage in heated debates with you on a daily basis, puts band aids on when you hurt yourself, does other random "nice" things and you still think he hates you?"

Newt let out an audible sigh, "Well when you put it that way…I suppose it is the longest relationship I've had with anyone."

"If he hasn't left by now, I doubt he ever will. No offense dude but you don't sound like the easiest co-worker to be around especially on a long-term basis."

Luckily Xian was finishing up, because Hermann had felt like he had heard enough. It had been enlightening, but a bit much and the last place he wanted to think about it was here.

He decided to take his chances and walk out the front door, mostly because he didn't trust alleys.

"Hey, did a guy with a cane just walk out of here?" Newt asked Jin five seconds after Hermann left.

"Oh yeah, that's the math/physics guy, he started coming in a couple months ago he only goes to Xian."

Newt stared at the ceiling in silence.

"Oh….oh…..fuck….that's….that's the same math guy isn't it?"

"Yep," Newt squeaked, "And he probably just heard this whole conversation, didn't he?"

Jin glanced over at the curtain, "Yep. Just talk to him tomorrow? Please? For me?! From what it sounds like it would be better for everyone."

The next day the lab was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Hermann had walked over to his chalkboards without even a nod at Newt's side of the lab. Newt had spent much of the day dissecting and staring at Hermann's back, rehearsing the whole lists of things he could say to him. At about 2 in the afternoon, it became too much and Newt decided on shock factor over presentation in his words.

"Hey Herms, can I talk to you for a sec?"

This earned him a piercing glare from the other side of the room that needed no explanation.

"Hey _Hermann, I mean Dr. Gottlieb_ , can I ask you an unprofessional question for the span of time most likely greater than one second?"

Hermann approached Newt's bench, trying to look as icy as possible.

"Can I see your tats?"

"My what?!"

"Your tattoos, can I see them?"

"You know full well I do not have any of your….disrespectful body decorations."

"I would have thought that like 2 days ago, if I didn't hear you leave the same shop I was in yesterday, which was also confirmed by Jin who called you the "math and physics guy" - because of course I go to the best shop in town and, you being you, would do an insane amount of research and would reach the conclusion that Three Dragons is the best shop in town - so of course you would go there. And based on our working and meeting schedules it was only a matter of time before we ended up there at the same time. So the question still stands, can I see them?"

"Absolutely not."

Newt tried to pull out his puppy-dog eyes.

"Ever?"

"No."

"What if I buy you dinner first?"

Hermann turned away quickly and started to walk towards his side, his cheeks burning red. He did not want to think about the situations in which Newton would see his tattoos especially in a "working" environment.

"I know you heard me yesterday." Newt singsonged from his bench.

Hermann stopped right on the line that separated their halves, frozen, waiting for whatever taunt Newton had come up with next.

"And?" he asked.

"Well now you know the truth. I like you. I like you a lot actually. Like a hell of a lot, so much it hurts, on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis. Aaaaaaand I really was convinced you hated me, because I know you heard that too, but luckily I've got Jin to put it into perspective for me, and apparently according to her all available evidence points to you not hating me. So it would appear the conclusion is that you have some other motive in preventing me from killing myself that is not related to you hating me, but is in fact some other emotion?"

"That would be correct."

"And what would that emotion be Dr. Gottlieb?"

Hermann turned and quickly walked back to Newt's bench.

"You are immature, annoying, obnoxious, insane, and you have absolutely no care for your own personal safety. You take too many risks and you drive me _crazy_ every single day here." He paused for breath, he was talking almost as fast as Newt. "But….but…you are a brilliant scientist, determined beyond belief and I love you. The emotion you were looking for is love."

"You…you….love me?" Newt said feeling his scalpel fall from his hand in shock, slicing the kaiju gut he had been dissecting open, spraying them both with blood. They both stared across the bench as the alarm started going off. Newt pointed to the safety shower and Hermann stood there, full of spite, until Newt pushed him in right direction and turned on the shower over both of them.

"I may have to rescind my previous comments, _Newton_." He said through gritted teeth as he started taking off his wet clothes.

"Aw man, come on it wasn't _that_ much, it happens all the time," Newt replied unbuttoning his wet shirt under which his kaiju were already beginning to bleed through. He couldn't help but notice Hermann staring as he took off his own shirt. Newt made a mental note to initiate a sexier shower scene later, when he wasn't covered in Kaiju Blue.

"It happens to _you_ all time because you are a reckless fool. It does not happen to me."

Hermann turned away from him to throw his clothes out of the shower and Newt gasped a little. "Go big or go home." he thought to himself as he stared at the black lines crossing Hermann's back. At first glance they were chaotic, but upon further inspection there was an order, a pattern. He threw his own clothes to the side and turned back to face Hermann. He pulled him into a hug and ran his hand down his back.

"They're beautiful. Really, I mean it. I don't get it like at all, I'm sure it's one of your math things. But they're such clean straight lines. I really think you should get some color though, it would look really good with your skin" he said into Hermann's chest, his bright kaiju such a contrast against Hermann's blank front.

"While I thank you for the compliment, this would be a lot more romantic if the threat of all the senior members of the PPDC running in here and us being hosed down by a hazmat team and being quarantined was not imminent."

"True, but I think this will help" Newt replied before tiptoeing up to kiss Hermann. They shivered under the cold shower and Newt's fingers outlined the lines on Hermann's back slowly in circles.

"I got what I wanted, can I at least buy you dinner now? I mean, after we get out of quarantine?" he asked.

"I will accept that as your apology for this unbelievable incident, Newton" Hermann replied. "But perhaps next time we do not discuss our relationship status over the dissection table."

"Deal, absolute deal. I think your room is a more appropriate place for that to happen anyways." Newt said winking at him as the hazmat team rushed in and before the only thing on his mind was how he was going to explain this particular accident to Pentecost.


End file.
